Life maps: rules or guidelines?

“If the map doesn’t agree with the ground, the map is wrong.” – Gordon Livingston, Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart – Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now.

I like this quote. It explains a lot about my uncanny ability to get lost.

You see, I rely quite a lot on maps to get around due to my appalling sense of direction. Most of the time this means I find my way … eventually. I used to use the old-fashioned paper ones but I have gladly embraced the modern way.

Now there is no more fighting with a sheet of paper the size of a small house whilst trying to change gears and steer a car in unfamiliar territory. No more desperately trying to reconcile the sea of new houses in front of me with the vacant land depicted on a street directory published years ago. These days I have real-time information neatly stored in some sort of electronic package that can not only show me the way but ever so politely tell me exactly where to go ….

Generally, Google Maps or other satnav-type things will ensure I get to my destination. I say generally, as nothing is infallible, and small things like coverage and running out of battery power can seriously impede reliability (and sometimes they are just wrong … which can be frustrating for any navigator).

“It is just here.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, the map says it is here, so it must be.”

“Clearly not here though.”

“You must have gone the wrong way …”

It’s funny how we often come to that conclusion … at least I do. Wherever there is a discrepancy, I tend to think I must be wrong. And not just finding my way physically to places but also following those other maps in my life.

Mr Livingston refers to the maps that we use, or try to use, to determine our life partner/s. He suggests we make a map of who we would like to spend time with and that perhaps we should really be making one of who we should avoid … those people with traits we don’t particularly like.

It is true that we tend to have a map of what we think people should be, and not only new people we meet but also those already in our lives. We know exactly what they should be doing, where, when, and how, and get frustrated, angry, and upset if they don’t do it. Understandably so … I mean haven’t they read the map? Probably not, but even if they have, that doesn’t mean they should follow it. The map isn’t necessarily right, remember?

For me, there is also a map that outlines the way things should go. This can be for an event, a day, a year, or my life …. Again things don’t always happen according to plan – actually, they rarely really happen according to plan. And again, what is the problem? Why is it that others are not following the script? Why is the universe not coming to the party, aligning the planets, and making everything work out just the way I have it in my head?

I guess, at least for me, it comes down to allowing some flexibility in the maps I use. Maybe I should look at changing how I view them, maybe nothing is really wrong – just different. Maybe I should think of the maps I use as a set of guidelines and take any changes as an opportunity, a new experience, something fun and exciting.

This reminds me of an afternoon wandering through Jaipur, India, with a fellow volunteer, getting totally lost and ending up at a temple that we had no intention of going to.

That little deviation from the map allowed me to participate in a celebration – dancing with locals and receiving joy, kindness, sweets, and a wonderful experience I would never have had if I had stayed fixed on the map.

So maybe it is more about looking at maps as guidelines, ones that allow for those temple dance moments. Even the Google/satnav maps are flexible enough to reroute you when you deviate.

For the main, I am happy to get a little lost every so often and revel in the experiences that come from that.