Always learning

I was once told that we are born wise and become more stupid as we age. This goes against the more common belief that we get wiser with age and are always learning. I think both are true.

When we were babies, we were very in tune with ourselves, what we needed, how we felt – sleep when tired, cry when hungry or uncomfortable or lonely or in pain – we listened to and attended to our bodily and emotional needs (or got someone else to attend). We were less concerned with what others thought we should have been doing and more concerned about what we needed.

Almost immediately however, we are thrown into the mire that is society and the rules, norms and expectations that come with it. Those around us, strangely, don’t always seem to know what we are asking for. They try to feed us when we just want a hug, change our nappy when we were quite enjoying the warmth, put us down for a sleep when we want to play, wake us up when we are in blissful slumber, insist on handing us over to anyone who feels they have a right to pinch our cheeks and gabble on in incoherent babble. We soon find out that the world doesn’t necessarily revolve around us.

As we grow, we are thrown more and more into the world and are exposed to more rules to be obeyed, norms to be followed. It is how things work. But we still have our innate wisdom telling us what we need and when we need it – I need food, feed me! I am tired, let me sleep! I am in pain, help me! I am lonely, love me! When we are still young, society gives us some leeway but as we get older that is no longer the case and so we learn to push that innate wisdom down, we cover it with those rules, norms and expectations that we are now expected to adhere to.

Over the years we continue to place layers over our innate wisdom. It becomes harder and harder to hear its voice amongst the many other voices demanding our attention – family, work, friends, finances, illness, social standing, fashion, possessions, pets. So what? That is life. Perhaps, but consistently ignoring the voice of innate wisdom can lead to both physical and mental health problems. When we neglect ourselves, things can fall apart.

“Returning to the innate wisdom we are born with, while embracing the wisdom we continue to gain throughout life, creates the perfect combination.”

When I turned 60 some years back, I delighted a friend with whom I was travelling in the back of a ute on the beach, by telling a concerned young lad, “Look mum, those ladies don’t have seatbelts,” that when you are 60 you can do whatever you like, which is not particularly true but it was fun to say.

My mother is 94 and happily states that getting old means you don’t have to do what you don’t want to as you have age as an excuse. So, has she come the full circle? Though she doesn’t cry when she is hungry as she is quite capable of making her own food as well as attending to her other needs. I rather think she is now allowing some of that innate wisdom to come through and has relearnt how to listen to it.

We don’t need to wait until we are 94. Perhaps our life learning should be refocused to remember this early wisdom – for this we need to relearn listening to our bodies and our minds, peeling away the layers that we have painstakingly placed in the way. Returning to the innate wisdom we are born with while embracing the wisdom we continue to gain throughout life creates the perfect combination.

So how do we do that? Ah, that may well be another blog post.