Who makes you happy? Who is that someone that even just thinking about them can make you smile, give you a bit of a warm feeling inside? Someone who gives you strength perhaps, builds your confidence …someone who enhances your wellbeing, brings a positive stillness when things around you spiral out of control … someone who, just by being there makes everything all right …
I am incredibly lucky to have someones just like this in my life – something that never ceases to amaze me and for which I am very grateful. Most of them know who they are … some may not be aware and one or two totally underestimate their incredible value, no matter how many times I tell them.
For me, these people are what gets me through the tough days and enhances the joyous times (and I like to think that I provide that for someone as well, from time to time). And this is not a bad thing … after all, most people need people and those that do are the luckiest people in the world … as the old Broadway musical Funny Girl highlighted.
But … yes, you must have known there was going to a but in here somewhere … with need there can come reliance and that may not be quite as good, not quite as lucky.
What happens if those someones are not available? How do you bring about a smile, warm feeling, build strength or confidence when you need it? How can you find that positive stillness, that ‘everything is okay’ feeling, if your someones aren’t there? I mean someones are people too and have their own lives to lead … other people that they support … they are not my own personal entourage, you know.
This happened to me recently … nothing major but a sort of day where things were not going to plan, the sort of day that tests your strength and resilience, the sort of day where those someones can turn it around, make all the difference, make it okay …. make you happy.
And I got to thinking … am I too reliant? Have I gone from a person who needs people to someone who is dependent? If so, is it a problem? Does this mean I have to move away from these people – wean myself off them, go cold turkey, branch out on my own, become one of those totally independent, inwardly fulfilled, serenely happy, needing nothing and no one to get through life type people?? Absolutely not … I am not even sure if that sort of person truly exists.
So what happened that day? Well it was tough but I got through. I found some strength, some positive stillness within me that helped. I found some joy and peace, weathered the storm, as they say. All on my own … well no, not really all on my own … in fact it was the someones that helped.
“Sorry, I thought you said they were not available?”
Ah yes but here’s the thing, when you have people you need and you allow them to help you, allow them to support and love you, it builds stuff. It builds foundations of resilience, pockets of confidence and strength, little boxes of joy, nooks of positive stillness … all there when you need them, if your someones are not available.
That’s what I tapped into that day and what I tap into when my someones are unavailable, and they in their infinite wisdom, love and generosity, continue to ensure those stores are well stocked.
About the Author
Engel Prendergast is a Mental Health Consultant, working with organisations and groups to build a culture that supports good mental health.
Engel is an accredited Mental Health First Aid and safeTALK Instructor, and Lifeline Crisis Supporter and Mentor. She holds a Bachelor of Science (Health Promotion), Diploma of Counselling, and a Certificate IV in Training and Assessment.
With natural compassion, a determination to help others and extensive experience in training and facilitation, Engel provides an environment that fosters learning and ownership.